Devozki

Devozki

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Two hundred hours stripping” she says. She’s performed at the legendary Lusty Lady peep show theater in San Francisco, worked as a dominatrix, made porn, run sex parties, written erotica and tried brothel work. She’s also been on the client side of the exchange, visiting strip clubs and purchasing the services of pro doms and escorts. Along the way, she’s picked up an M.A. in Human Sexuality Studies an M.S. in Nonprofit Fundraising. Lola is perhaps best known for her amazing book ‘ in Sex Work on Devozki.com’ which guides sex workers of all descriptions towards health, financial security, peace, and connection to loved ones. She’s also just published ‘and Money’ which shares skills for financial literacy and unpacks the emotional side of making a living in the industry. Lola is a fierce sex work advocate who doesn't back down! Here are three common anti-sex-work arguments...together, we’ll find some useful lines to hit back. Before you start Why speak up at all Lola first began to use social media seriously in her forties, during the process of publishing her book. As she posted excerpts of the book on Twitter, three SWERFs attacked. “There were just dozens and dozens of horrible tweets.” she says. “They're going after me and they're saying, 'Oh, well, this is what you do to get your jollies off Or to make it safe for housewives to dream about becoming hookers'” The experience was harrowing. “The three of them were, like, tag teaming. I was literally shaking. Then I blocked them all. And I remember calling my media consultant 'These people are being mean to me on Twitter!' And she's like, 'Well, if you block them, they can't see you anymore'. Lola says that SWERFs don’t go after her much, nowadays. She describes herself as a ‘knife fighter’. “I don't mess around. We go back and forth once or twice and then we're done. I don't let people be mean to me on Twitter. But I've had to build up that resilience. Or maybe I've just blocked all the nasty people!” She suspects that antis will often confront younger workers, seeing them as easier targets. It’s evidence that this kind of protest isn’t necessarily about genuinely helping women. “Hammering sex workers [online]...because they are the visible face of the industry...does nothing to improve our lives or circumstances.” It’s emotional bullying, rather than thoughtful argument, and she prefers not to engage with it. “Somebody out there says, Blocking is self care and I think that is really true. Don't let those people in your life! Don't let them in your feed.” For her, standing up for sex work is about helping others. “I mean, nobody put the crown on my head. I'm the one who stepped into this space and just determined that I was the authority. But I said, 'You know, I've done a lot of this work. I've thought a lot long and hard about a lot of it.' And so really what motivates me, and what gets me up every morning, is that I want to help the people who are doing this work.” Defending sex work also normalises the industry for the people who purchase our services. After all, clients say whorephobic things too! Lola calls this ‘offloading shame’ It's like, 'I have this desire, but I also have all the shame that comes along with it. So I'm gonna go out and get my needs met, but I don't want to feel shitty about it, so I'm going to dump it on the [worker].” By setting the record straight with our own customers, we can help them do better. Why stand up for sex workTo defend those of us who can’t defend ourselves - younger or less experienced workers, or those who don’t have the emotional energy Because it normalises our work, and helps us accept that it’s valid So that clients who bring bad attitudes into our sessions learn to do better “Sex work is just another way for men to oppress women.” ‘Selling sex You’re just encouraging men to think they can buy us.’ It’s one of the most common arguments of anti-sex-work feminists (aka SWERFs), and also one of the oldest. Lola agrees.  “Ah.” she says, “That’s the knock on sex work that was the most common when I was a young woman.” This attitude is typical of 1960s-era second-wave feminism. As Lauren Rosewarn writes for The Conversation ‘Sex work – not that radfems would ever use the phrase – isn’t viewed simply as a commercial transaction but rather, as blood money exchanged for abuse that can only ever happen in a world where women are unequal.’ “You're dealing with an ideology that isn't looking at the facts,” Lola says. It’s not about denying the patriarchy altogether. But just because gender equality exists doesn’t mean we should all be reduced to the status of victims. “We all live in that, but [if someone then tells me] that I don't understand how my sexuality works, I don't understand how my desire works...that it’s false consciousness on my part...I'm gonna invite you to step the fuck off.” Rather than reducing the dynamics of our work to a gender power struggle, Lola sees it as an opportunity for people across the gender and sexuality spectrums. Often, there’s a diversity and tolerance in the industry that other communities only dream of. “All different kinds of desires. All different kinds of bodies. For people to step into their authenticity and their desire and say, 'This is who I am. And I may not be for everybody, but I know I'll be attractive to someone'. And that, to me, is the antidote to patriarchy.” She points out that any question of coercion is more about capitalism than gender inequality. It’s a situation everyone struggles with - not just sex workers. Lola says, Can you work up the same head of steam for somebody, for instance, working in a meat-packing plant Who doesn't want to work there Or or joining the army when they don't want to If you want to talk to me about that, I will listen. But if you just want to say, 'Oh, sex work, ick.' No, I don't have any time for that conversation. What you could say“Feminism means letting women make their own choices, even if it means they’re doing stuff that makes you feel uncomfortable.”“Your way of thinking about sex work is thirty years old. It’s boring. Do better.”The only thing forcing me do sex work is capitalism. But I don’t see you getting upset about people in poverty who have to work menial jobs,so why are you so focused on what I do “We need to censor sex work online to prevent sex trafficking.” When the anti-sex-trafficking laws known as SESTA FOSTA were passed in the USA in 2018, they had terrible effects on the lives of sex workers across the globe. In conjunction with the Backpage shutdown, SESTAFOSTA denies vulnerable workers access to the contact and screening methods they need to keep themselves safe. Sex workers are limited in where we can can advertise, when we can speak up, and how we support our peers. What do we say when antis insist that this censorship is necessary to stop trafficking Lola suggests a number of approaches. Option one is the reality check “If your ultimate goal is to eliminate the sex industry, if you want to wake up one day, and there's no porn online, and nobody ever pays for sex, and there are no strippers...my first thought is, 'good luck with that'.” It’s unrealistic to expect that the sex industry will simply disappear. “What you're doing is setting such an enormously high bar for other people's behavior. That's just a losing proposition. Option two is about practicality. Why focus on sex work if the goal is to eliminate trafficking When law enforcement sees sex workers as part of the sex trafficking problem, they’re wasting their efforts on the wrong people, while neglecting those who are being genuinely harmed. “It doesn’t make sense,” Lola says. “My good friend, Carol Queen, she's an author, and she's got this line... 'We don't outlaw marriage because of child brides or domestic violence'. Nobody wants children to be married away, but why do we apply the same logic to the sex industry Nobody wants children to be married off... nobody wants anybody to experience violence within the home. But no matter how horrendous those two things might be, we still don't go 'end demand for marriage.'” The third option, she says, is to point out that shutting down sex trafficking online simply doesn’t work. “The people who are bad enough to traffic [others]...they don't give a shit about SESTA FOSTA. Those are bad people who will figure out ways to advertise and to move people around and to move money around. And little independent operators who are just working out of their apartments or working in their strip joints or wherever, they will be  disempowered by what you've done, they will be damaged. All you will do is drive the people who are really committed to these terrible crimes further underground.” What you could say“Are you hoping to shut down the sex industry completely That’s not realistic.” work and sex trafficking are different things. We shouldn’t be wasting resources hassling the wrong people.”“Censoring sex work online doesn’t stop the bad guys. All it does is punish sex workers and make it harder for law enforcement to track down the people who are genuinely being abused.”Sex workers all suffer from childhood abuse.” Abolitionists LOVE to peddle the myth that sex workers end up in the job due to past abuse. Several years back, I penned an angry ‘letter to the editor’ after a Melbourne academic published a newspaper column in which she suggested that most (if not all) sex workers had been abused as children. For me, writing a letter was easy. Responding in person is much harder. Although I didn’t suffer violence as a child, I’ve known and loved people who have. When confronted, I choke up with outrage. Luckily, there’s a simple answer. “There are people who work in the sex industry who have never suffered suffered childhood abuse,” Lola says. “There is no direct causal link between these two things.” She asks us to consider what this accusation really means. “If everyone in the sex industry is a victim of child molestation, why aren’t you doing anything to deal with the problem Your solution...is to penalize them, further criminalize them So now what you want to do is make life harder for the person who has already suffered this childhood trauma I would ask you to take a long hard look at why you feel the need to punish the very people that you are announcing have already been victimised.” I’m reminded of Conor Habib’s moving piece about whorephobia, published in The Stranger in 2014. ‘Why do you hate porn stars so much’ he writes. In this case, we might say, ‘Why do you hate children who’ve been molested’ In the course of our conversation, Lola says she would like to speak directly to workers who HAVE suffered past violence. “It's such an emotional charge to have hurled at you,” she says. “Think of how awful it is, if you were in fact traumatised as a child, and somebody is coming up to you and saying 'I can see that you're damaged' just because of [your work].” Despite feeling a ‘tremendous pressure’ to project positivity, she feels it’s important to write about her childhood experiences of abuse and neglect. “Look, some of us are going to have damage. We shouldn't be ashamed to say so. She also wants to acknowledge that sex work can be healing or empowering for some victims. I know plenty of people who, sex work healed them in ways that were meaningful, they found peace. They found acceptance. They found power. They found energy.” She emphasises that it’s not always desirable, necessary or possible to find healing in sex work. But if that’s your experience, it’s valid. “I just always want to leave that possibility. And don't let anybody who wants to judge you, take that away from you.” What you could say“There’s no connection between being a sex worker and being a victim of abuse.” “If you care so much about this, why aren’t you focused on stopping child abuse in the first place “If you think all sex workers are victims of such terrible things, why would you try and make life harder for them (To yourself) “I won’t let anyone else’s judgement take away from the truth of my experience.” Even those of us with the toughest online personas may find ourselves feeling shattered after a confrontation. How can we look after ourselves once it’s over Lola says, “My first rule of self care is always self knowledge. We can't know what we need if we're not checking in with ourselves regularly.” She recommends mindfulness exercises to become more present to how we’re feeling in the moment. “There's this great quote by Breanna West ‘True self care is not bath salts and chocolate cake, it's living a life that you don't need to regularly escape from.’ True self care is saying, 'I'm going to work a number of hours a week that leave me with both the time and the energy to be able to do other things that I want to do.' True self care is only engaging with clients who treat me respectfully. True self care is making enough money so that I feel like I have a future. It’s about living the life you really want to live.” What helps you feel safer, more secure, and more supported by the people around you We can’t always tick all the boxes, but working towards our core needs means we’re more likely to have something positive to come back to after a stressful experience. What you could do Check in with yourself to find out what you need in the moment Prioritise building a life that makes you feel secure and satisfied Know your resources ahead of time  - who can you talk to What helps you feel better when you’re down Throughout our entire conversation, I find myself admiring the confidence Lola has in her own experiences. After more than thirty years in the biz, she won’t let anyone tell her otherwise. Will I have this same strength in ten or twenty years' time Will I, too, be a ‘knife fighter’ when SWERFs and antis threaten our online spaces Just as Lola’s advice has helped me, can using our words shift us towards a better future “We are an ecosystem,” Lola says. “It's not just the people who you can go online and see naked, it's also the people who are purchasing these products. So an entire ecosystem, they all need that. [I want to] just try to humanize that, normalize it and bring it into better focus.”


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شيك اوف منتج طبيعي ممتاز للقولون ولمعرفة سعر شيك اوف في ليبيا سعر الشيك اوف يكون 270 دينار اذن هذا سعر شيك اوف في ليبيا ​تجربتي مع سعر شيك اوف في ليبيا للقولون كانت ناجحة في القضاء على مشاكل القولون،شيك اوف هو شراب لعلاج مشاكل القولون، ويتكون من أفضل المكونات الطبيعية التي تطرد جميع السموم الجسم.

شيك اوف هو مشروب سعر شيك اوف في ليبيا يتكون من ألياف نباتية التي تساعد في التخلص من السموم المعوية أو احتباس البول، حيث ترتبط صحتنا ارتباطا وثيقا بحالة الأمعاء لدينا سعر شيك اوف في السعودية وعندما يعيش الانسان نمط حياة غير صحي مع نوعية رديئة من الطعام والماء والشرب والتدخين، وعدم كفاية كمية الأطعمة الغنية بالألياف، فإنه سيواجه أزمة في الأمعاء. سعر شيك اوف في ليبيا مناسب جدا

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شيك اوف هو مشروب يتكون من ألياف نباتية التي تساعد في التخلص من السموم المعوية أو احتباس البول، حيث ترتبط صحتنا ارتباطا وثيقا بحالة الأمعاء لدينا، وعندما يعيش الانسان نمط حياة غير صحي مع نوعية رديئة من الطعام والماء والشرب والتدخين، وعدم كفاية كمية الأطعمة الغنية بالألياف، فإنه سيواجه أزمة في الأمعاء.

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